Loving Zara...a 1st story...Part 2 (F/f)

as i noted in part 1, i'm real new at this writing fiction thing.
having some trouble w/this story in terms of getting bogged down in details i feel like.
but, eh, it is what it is...

this story is fiction, i do not condone the spanking of minors, etc.
also please note that this story makes reference to both self-injury and an eating disorder...so if these are in any way an issue for you, please be safe.

~~~~~~~~~~

..."Wellll, um," I started, nervously biting my lip as I am wont to do, "you know about yesterday."
It was somewhere between a rhetorical question and a statement.

"I know what Lauren told me. I want to hear about it, all of it, from you little Z," Jax said, punctuating the all with a *pat* to my left cheek.
On my very recently and well spanked bottom however it felt more like a sound *SMACK*.

Yeah.

Lauren and husband Dale are my long-time coaches and owners of Independence Gymnastics.

"Right...well, I went to open-gym last night..."

Open-gym is basically 2 hours of playtime on Friday nights. Not a practice, not mandatory--just low-key, play on the tramp, throw some crazy skills into the foam pit sort of time. Well that's what it's supposed to be at least. Some of the coaches for the lower-level teams run it; it's usually Lauren and Dale's only evening off.

"Yes?"

"...and I guess" *SMACK* "I mean, um I know, I wasn't supposed to."

"Hmmm, mmmm...And why is that?"

*GROAN* Not gonna make this easy on me, are ya, Jax?

"Because my weight had dropped and according to my 'contract'
(couldn't say that without the corresponding EYEROLLS )
I'm not allowed right now to be doing any extra work-outs or anything that isn't 'mandatory,'" I spit out in one breath.

Jax wasn't even bothering with the sound effects or gentle prompts now, just waiting.

*SIGH*

"But I figured Stacey and Jay and them wouldn't think anything of it. I mean they don't keep up with the--"
Anticipating my impending self-deprecating sarcasm, Jax cut it off with the raised eyebrow and another *SMACK*.

Clearing my throat, I continued, "um, yeah, so I figured they'd assume that if I was there my, uh, latest 'suspension' had been lifted."

Silence.
I would have much rather skipped over how I'd spent my time at open-gym, but knew very well that wasn't going to fly.

"So I went and uh, worked through some beam and bars routines."

A real *SMACK*.

"Ok, ok, I banged out about 10 of each, nonstop."

The *SIGH* came from Jax this time.
"Go on."

"Right, so, I guess someone just mentioned I was there or whatever to Lauren or Dale this morning...and Lauren kicked me out as soon as I got there for practice...and called you."

"Yes, indeed she did. Was none too appreciative that you'd tried to pull one over on them."

I felt my face turn red.
Lauren and Dale had every right to be pissed.
They have never been anything but wonderful and supportive in the long 7 years since I'd first walked into that gym.
It was definitely NOT cool of me; it was downright disrespectful actually, when I pulled this kind of shit.

*SMACK*
"Nor was I, as you might have guessed."
*SMACK*

Cue the reappearance of my tears.
Who knew there were any left?

"Sweetie, I know how hard this is on you. The trial, the media, and they're just warming up..."

Jax started muttering about the "bastards" and "if I ever get my hands on one of them."

Thinking that even I would feel a little sorry for any involved that found themselves within grasp of this mama bear, I reached up to touch Jax's cheek.

She smiled then and continued, "oh, right...lovey, and I'd do anything in the world if it would protect you, make it so you never even have to think about that night and all the rest of it ever again.

"But I can't. And we both know it's going to get a lot worse before its over. And it sucks."

We both just sat with that for a moment.

"But kiddo, I am not helpless when it comes to supporting you through every shitty second of it. You and I, we've managed to get you through a quite a lot these last several years, right?"

A teary "yeah."

"Honey, all you've got to do is let me, and everyone else that cares about you...let us love you."

Being a mind-reader apparently, "Zara, you are NOT disappointing anyone, and especially not me, by having a really hard time." *SMACK*

"I'm sorry..." I managed, finding a particular spot on the floor suddenly fascinating.

Jax lightly kissed the top of my head.
"For?"

"For lying to you about where I was going...and just all of it."

"I can't wait for the day you say you're going to movies when you're really sneaking into a bar with a fake id."

Hah. Hah. You're a real comedian Jax.
The thing is, I know she's not really joking--she'll probably throw a party the day I get in trouble for acting like a typical-dumb-teenager.
Right after she spanks me of course--
"a lie is a lie is a lie..."

And I really do hate all of them, just as much as Jax.
Issues of honesty are the one thing the ever flexible and understanding mom of 3 (4! I meant four. plus me = four. still working on really believing that one...) takes a real black-and-white stance on.
Lying in any form is, with rare exception, the single 'spankable offense' in this house.
But still, this instinct of mine to self-destruct just overpowers all too often...

Jax squeezed her arms a little tighter around me.
She knew how hard this was for me, and how ashamed I was for lying, for lying to people who did nothing but care about me, and oh goddess, for lying to her, the person who meant the entire world to me.

And there was still the other part of the story that she didn't know the details of, but had figured out existed.
The lies behind the lies of the previous night, the lies that I damn well knew were likely to get me another session facedown across Jax's lap.

Jax picked up my right hand, turning it to show the underside of my wrist, where two cuts joined end to end in an approximate right angle.

She took a close look, and said "L. For liar?"
More tears. I didn't find it necessary to confirm.

"Have you cleaned these, put any ointment on?"
I shook my head no.

"Up," she said, helping to lift me to my feet, and giving my bottom another smack.
I waited until she came back with a damp hand towel, Neosporin, and bandaging, and then resumed my position on her lap after she sat down again.

I just watched Jax's hands as she gently and efficiently rubbed the cuts with the towel, applied a generous layer of ointment, and applied a big square band-aid and strip of tape to keep it in place.

Finished, she placed the supplies on the table beside us and settled her arms back around me.

"I know this and the state I found you in earlier couldn't have been just about what I already knew and you've confirmed," she said simply.

"Which was the original reason I had come in to spank you," she added with another *SMACK*.

As if I needed to be reminded...

- posted by unquiet @ 12:24 PM