an odyssey of speaking the unspeakable...
32 flavors and then some...
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pandoras_box
Monday, November 08, 2004
an Index or something
original post: 8/25/2004, 9:44am
last updated: whenever this post is now dated.
what the hell is this page/blog/site anyway?
other notes + caveats:
now then...
Zara (+jax) stories: sorta-chronological order in terms of 'the story' (vs. when i wrote 'em)
[(if there are) titles in italics, w/o a link, mean: in progress, coming "soon", stop waving your damn hairbrush at me
]
nada = nothin to do with spanking, just other 'aspects' of the characters + story as a whole, i.e. pb-fantasy-land and um, whatever.
possibly relevant Links if *particular* schtuff confuse you
temperamental tasha -- F/f [gymnast fanfic-ish]
pandoras (i.e., my) crap
original post: 8/25/2004, 9:44am
last updated: whenever this post is now dated.
what the hell is this page/blog/site anyway?
- if you didn't get here from SIN (or the playground), then i have no idea how you did, as it shouldn't show up in search engines + i haven't put a link anywhere else.
my point??--
pretty much that i don't care if you have a clue or not.
- if you are from SIN...well, you already have about as much a clue as i do
other notes + caveats:
- however you got here, please don't link to this page from elsewhere.
i haven't gotten that much less paranoid, dude!!! - if you are under 18 years of age, go away!
- these stories are purely fiction/fantasy.
and i do not condone the spanking of minors in real life. - within many of these stories is talk of and/or reference to: past trauma, eating disorders, self-injury...so, especially if any of these things are personal issues for you, please take care of yourself
now then...
Zara (+jax) stories: sorta-chronological order in terms of 'the story' (vs. when i wrote 'em)
[(if there are) titles in italics, w/o a link, mean: in progress, coming "soon", stop waving your damn hairbrush at me
]nada = nothin to do with spanking, just other 'aspects' of the characters + story as a whole, i.e. pb-fantasy-land and um, whatever.
- Jackie ("Jax") on: The moments before... -- nada
- the missing one came home -- nada
- ...little z space -- F/f
- "SO intense." -- F/f (assumed)
- Loving Zara -- F/f
- Moving On -- nada (for now)
- Zara on: what magic really is... -- nada
- making things right -- F/f (assumed)
- independently gone bats -- F/f
- Because... -- F/f
fast-forward in time...Emily/Zara stories...
possibly relevant Links if *particular* schtuff confuse you
temperamental tasha -- F/f [gymnast fanfic-ish]
pandoras (i.e., my) crap
- "What kind of spanko are you?" quiz
- the "unspeakable" ... the random journal entry that got me kick-started (was about damn time...!)
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Moving On ['nada' version]
another written for my creative writing class, as a short story. i had intended for this, the 'nada' version, to be much more developed itself, but it just wasn't coming together. nevertheless, i am working still on an expanded version, which will include spanking, but for now...
~~~~~~~~~~
Taylor and Jackie bolted awake to screams coming from down the hall. She raced into Zara's bedroom, flipped on the light, and discovered 13-year-old Z crouched on her bed, shaking, tears streaming down her olive cheeks. When Jax approached, Z backed into the corner as if a trapped animal.
"Zara, honey, what's the matter?" She attempted to shout over Z's screaming, unintelligible save the frequent and anguished "Nooo."
"ZARA. Zara, baby, it's me, Jax."
Unwilling to continue watching helplessly, Jax stepped up on the bed and deftly grabbed Z in a big bear hug, securing the flailing arms to her sides. The epitome of small but mighty sought to claw and kick her way out regardless. Jax was already sweating from the effort, but she continued to hold Z tightly from behind. So Zara attacked her own flesh, digging her nails straight through the skin on her wrist. Jax clasped her hands, entwining her fingers with the little weapons. She swayed in tandem with Z's struggling, and murmured softly into her ear in opposition to Zara's terrified wails.
"It's ok, little one...I'm here Z...You're safe now, baby, I promise...Jax has got ya, Z...This is your home now, sweetheart...We are your family, for always...You're home, and you're my little one, and I love you Zara...I won't let anyone hurt you, not ever again lovey...Shhh, it's gonna be ok, baby, it really is..."
Jax felt the fight drain from the little body, and Z collapsed against her as huge wracking sobs erupted from deep within. Jax carefully picked her up and carried her to the large cushioned rocking chair. Z curled up in a ball on her lap, her arms clinging around Jax's waist.
Tay came in quietly a while later to let Jackie know that, although their nine-year-old son Issac had also awoke, he shortly returned to a dreamy slumber.
"Little guy is usually such a deep sleeper," Jackie commented absently, as she brushed away the matted black curls from Zara's tear-streaked face.
Tay squatted next to the rocker and wiped the tears that also slid down Jackie's cheeks. "I assured him that Z was ok...told him that she had a very bad dream again, but mom was with her."
He shifted his gaze to Zara, enveloped in his wife's arms, her slight body still trembling. Z had made no movement or sound to indicate awareness of Tay's entry or words, and her deep green eyes stared at nothing. Standing slowly, Tay gave both Z and Jackie a kiss on the head before heading back to his and Jackie's bedroom, knowing he was unlikely to rest so easily as his son. Rather he lay sprawled across their bed, his meandering thoughts mirroring Jackie's a few rooms away.
In the early months following her father's murder two years ago, and subsequent move into the Rosen's home, Zara's cries awoke Jax several times a week. With much support though, and the passage of time, the bad nights became rarer. Recently, however, as her uncle's trial approached, the nightmares had reappeared. Neither Jackie nor Taylor had ever heard a scream quite like that though. Jax had never witnessed such a sight as she encountered tonight either.
Jax gazed out at the black and moonless night sky. Finally, she felt Zara shifting on her lap. Jax looked down with a gentle smile, and was relieved to see the signs of life on her face that signaled Z's return from the place she had visited.
"Hey, lovey."
"Hey," Z whispered back.
"How ya doing, little one?"
"I-I think I'm ok."
Jax gave her a squeeze, and said, "You will be, lovey. I promise."
Zara soon drifted to sleep, and Jax tucked her into bed. Stretching out beside Z, Jax laid her arm protectively around her little one's waist.
Through the window, she watched the landscape lighten to a slightly overcast gray, and the rising sun played peek-a-boo as the storm clouds of yesterday, ever so slowly, drifted away.
another written for my creative writing class, as a short story. i had intended for this, the 'nada' version, to be much more developed itself, but it just wasn't coming together. nevertheless, i am working still on an expanded version, which will include spanking, but for now...
~~~~~~~~~~
Taylor and Jackie bolted awake to screams coming from down the hall. She raced into Zara's bedroom, flipped on the light, and discovered 13-year-old Z crouched on her bed, shaking, tears streaming down her olive cheeks. When Jax approached, Z backed into the corner as if a trapped animal.
"Zara, honey, what's the matter?" She attempted to shout over Z's screaming, unintelligible save the frequent and anguished "Nooo."
"ZARA. Zara, baby, it's me, Jax."
Unwilling to continue watching helplessly, Jax stepped up on the bed and deftly grabbed Z in a big bear hug, securing the flailing arms to her sides. The epitome of small but mighty sought to claw and kick her way out regardless. Jax was already sweating from the effort, but she continued to hold Z tightly from behind. So Zara attacked her own flesh, digging her nails straight through the skin on her wrist. Jax clasped her hands, entwining her fingers with the little weapons. She swayed in tandem with Z's struggling, and murmured softly into her ear in opposition to Zara's terrified wails.
"It's ok, little one...I'm here Z...You're safe now, baby, I promise...Jax has got ya, Z...This is your home now, sweetheart...We are your family, for always...You're home, and you're my little one, and I love you Zara...I won't let anyone hurt you, not ever again lovey...Shhh, it's gonna be ok, baby, it really is..."
Jax felt the fight drain from the little body, and Z collapsed against her as huge wracking sobs erupted from deep within. Jax carefully picked her up and carried her to the large cushioned rocking chair. Z curled up in a ball on her lap, her arms clinging around Jax's waist.
Tay came in quietly a while later to let Jackie know that, although their nine-year-old son Issac had also awoke, he shortly returned to a dreamy slumber.
"Little guy is usually such a deep sleeper," Jackie commented absently, as she brushed away the matted black curls from Zara's tear-streaked face.
Tay squatted next to the rocker and wiped the tears that also slid down Jackie's cheeks. "I assured him that Z was ok...told him that she had a very bad dream again, but mom was with her."
He shifted his gaze to Zara, enveloped in his wife's arms, her slight body still trembling. Z had made no movement or sound to indicate awareness of Tay's entry or words, and her deep green eyes stared at nothing. Standing slowly, Tay gave both Z and Jackie a kiss on the head before heading back to his and Jackie's bedroom, knowing he was unlikely to rest so easily as his son. Rather he lay sprawled across their bed, his meandering thoughts mirroring Jackie's a few rooms away.
In the early months following her father's murder two years ago, and subsequent move into the Rosen's home, Zara's cries awoke Jax several times a week. With much support though, and the passage of time, the bad nights became rarer. Recently, however, as her uncle's trial approached, the nightmares had reappeared. Neither Jackie nor Taylor had ever heard a scream quite like that though. Jax had never witnessed such a sight as she encountered tonight either.
Jax gazed out at the black and moonless night sky. Finally, she felt Zara shifting on her lap. Jax looked down with a gentle smile, and was relieved to see the signs of life on her face that signaled Z's return from the place she had visited.
"Hey, lovey."
"Hey," Z whispered back.
"How ya doing, little one?"
"I-I think I'm ok."
Jax gave her a squeeze, and said, "You will be, lovey. I promise."
Zara soon drifted to sleep, and Jax tucked her into bed. Stretching out beside Z, Jax laid her arm protectively around her little one's waist.
Through the window, she watched the landscape lighten to a slightly overcast gray, and the rising sun played peek-a-boo as the storm clouds of yesterday, ever so slowly, drifted away.
oh no don't you put me in that box you know what you can do with those locks bet your life i'll come crawling out again you'll have to deal with me then you'll hear me in the wind...