an odyssey of speaking the unspeakable...
32 flavors and then some...
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Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Jackie ("Jax") on: The moments before...
again, just more of the main characters/plot in my (twisted?) completely-fantasy world--
but absolutely nothing to do w/ spanking.
(and not posted on SIN)
~~~~~~~~~~
Zara was a tiny girl of 9 years old, with the dark and hardened, sad and somber eyes of an ageless woman.
She had been referred to me by her coaches Lauren and Dale, long-time owners of Independence Gymnastics, a highly respected local club.
The couple had attended the same university, competing for its women’s and men’s gymnastics teams respectively, and married after graduation.
They were admired as much for the primary value they placed on contributing to the development of their young athletes into well-rounded and healthy adults as the competitive excellence their teams consistently displayed.
To that end, Lauren, a long-time friendly acquaintance, had sought my consultation as a therapist regarding several of their athletes over the years that had generated concern regarding their emotional health.
What I knew from my preliminary conversations with Lauren was that an already enighmatic Zara, or "Z" as she was affectionately known, had come to their gym for a beginner’s class when she was just short of six years old.
She possessed significant talent and, even then, a fearless composure that left one "flabbergasted."
Less than two months later, Zara joined their “little stars” competitive squad.
She competed with an air of "eerie calmness," winning everything in sight with unassuming nonchalance.
By the time I met her, Zara had continued to move up rapidly and long established herself as the dominant force in the region for her age-group and competitive level.
Lauren also described having to throw Zara out of practice on occasion, because the intensity of her work ethic could be downright frightening.
Over time, Zara had slowly revealed to her coaches and teammates a quite engaging personality, a side of herself that was a little less serious, a bit freer, and even a tad more "'child-like' if you will."
If there was mischief in the making, Z was sure to be the instigator.
However, she was too “damn clever and bright”, Lauren laughed, for anyone to prove it very often.
A deadpan, sarcastic sense of humor also reflected her high intelligence, as did an exceptional academic record.
There was a lot Lauren did not know however.
One only had to look in Zara’s eyes or witness her intensity to know there was a whole lot under the surface.
However, over the years, any time she or Dale had tried to approach the subject of Zara’s life outside the gym; her walls went up higher than ever.
Lauren remembered the first day that she saw Zara, brought in by a cold and distant woman who was apparently her aunt.
The woman was anxious to do the paperwork and pay the fees (in cash) as quickly as possible, and then left with only a curt good-bye to the child.
That was the only time any member of the young girl’s family had ever been seen.
Putting together the few words Zara would say and some other clues, Lauren and Dale had surmised that Zara’s mother had disappeared when her daughter was still very young, and that Z's last name was indeed of that notoriety, the Santi borgata.
The immediate concern that led Lauren to contact me was Zara’s recent, and visually apparent, weight loss.
She had always had a petite, but very muscular, build.
Having spent a great deal of time with the girl in the last 4 years, including traveling on a regular basis to non-local competitions, Lauren had long-ago noted that Z was “kind of a weird eater.”
She was more “picky” than any of her teammates.
In addition, more than a few people had noticed that a seeming lack of appetite often coincided with times when Zara appeared stressed, anxious, upset and so on.
Her eating habits were perhaps the one clear communication of the emotions Zara otherwise kept tightly under wraps.
Then, about 6 months ago, Lauren and Dale noticed that Zara, rather suddenly, became more solemn than usual.
Known for her outstanding strength and power both, she began struggling a bit with the conditioning routine that she had always breezed through.
Moreover, that extra "oomph!" as Lauren called it, was less apparent in her tumbling and vaulting.
The changes were relatively mild however, and didn’t seem to be affecting Z's competitive results.
Therefore, they were hopeful it was just a phase, having to do with a growth spurt or something.
However, they soon realized she was not getting any taller, but definitely seemed to be getting thinner.
Then, in the past month or so, since she had won the biggest and last meet of the season, Level 8 Regional Championships, Z's weight had shifted from progressively sliding to dropping rapidly.
Unsure what to make of the odd and strong sense that this was going to be a very significant day in my life--I rose from my chair to go meet one Zara Michaela Santi for the first time...
again, just more of the main characters/plot in my (twisted?) completely-fantasy world--
but absolutely nothing to do w/ spanking.
(and not posted on SIN)
~~~~~~~~~~
'Some people walk through your office, some walk into your
heart.'
One took possession of it and never let go...
Zara was a tiny girl of 9 years old, with the dark and hardened, sad and somber eyes of an ageless woman.
She had been referred to me by her coaches Lauren and Dale, long-time owners of Independence Gymnastics, a highly respected local club.
The couple had attended the same university, competing for its women’s and men’s gymnastics teams respectively, and married after graduation.
They were admired as much for the primary value they placed on contributing to the development of their young athletes into well-rounded and healthy adults as the competitive excellence their teams consistently displayed.
To that end, Lauren, a long-time friendly acquaintance, had sought my consultation as a therapist regarding several of their athletes over the years that had generated concern regarding their emotional health.
What I knew from my preliminary conversations with Lauren was that an already enighmatic Zara, or "Z" as she was affectionately known, had come to their gym for a beginner’s class when she was just short of six years old.
She possessed significant talent and, even then, a fearless composure that left one "flabbergasted."
Less than two months later, Zara joined their “little stars” competitive squad.
She competed with an air of "eerie calmness," winning everything in sight with unassuming nonchalance.
By the time I met her, Zara had continued to move up rapidly and long established herself as the dominant force in the region for her age-group and competitive level.
Lauren also described having to throw Zara out of practice on occasion, because the intensity of her work ethic could be downright frightening.
Over time, Zara had slowly revealed to her coaches and teammates a quite engaging personality, a side of herself that was a little less serious, a bit freer, and even a tad more "'child-like' if you will."
If there was mischief in the making, Z was sure to be the instigator.
However, she was too “damn clever and bright”, Lauren laughed, for anyone to prove it very often.
A deadpan, sarcastic sense of humor also reflected her high intelligence, as did an exceptional academic record.
There was a lot Lauren did not know however.
One only had to look in Zara’s eyes or witness her intensity to know there was a whole lot under the surface.
However, over the years, any time she or Dale had tried to approach the subject of Zara’s life outside the gym; her walls went up higher than ever.
Lauren remembered the first day that she saw Zara, brought in by a cold and distant woman who was apparently her aunt.
The woman was anxious to do the paperwork and pay the fees (in cash) as quickly as possible, and then left with only a curt good-bye to the child.
That was the only time any member of the young girl’s family had ever been seen.
Putting together the few words Zara would say and some other clues, Lauren and Dale had surmised that Zara’s mother had disappeared when her daughter was still very young, and that Z's last name was indeed of that notoriety, the Santi borgata.
The immediate concern that led Lauren to contact me was Zara’s recent, and visually apparent, weight loss.
She had always had a petite, but very muscular, build.
Having spent a great deal of time with the girl in the last 4 years, including traveling on a regular basis to non-local competitions, Lauren had long-ago noted that Z was “kind of a weird eater.”
She was more “picky” than any of her teammates.
In addition, more than a few people had noticed that a seeming lack of appetite often coincided with times when Zara appeared stressed, anxious, upset and so on.
Her eating habits were perhaps the one clear communication of the emotions Zara otherwise kept tightly under wraps.
Then, about 6 months ago, Lauren and Dale noticed that Zara, rather suddenly, became more solemn than usual.
Known for her outstanding strength and power both, she began struggling a bit with the conditioning routine that she had always breezed through.
Moreover, that extra "oomph!" as Lauren called it, was less apparent in her tumbling and vaulting.
The changes were relatively mild however, and didn’t seem to be affecting Z's competitive results.
Therefore, they were hopeful it was just a phase, having to do with a growth spurt or something.
However, they soon realized she was not getting any taller, but definitely seemed to be getting thinner.
Then, in the past month or so, since she had won the biggest and last meet of the season, Level 8 Regional Championships, Z's weight had shifted from progressively sliding to dropping rapidly.
Unsure what to make of the odd and strong sense that this was going to be a very significant day in my life--I rose from my chair to go meet one Zara Michaela Santi for the first time...
oh no don't you put me in that box you know what you can do with those locks bet your life i'll come crawling out again you'll have to deal with me then you'll hear me in the wind...