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Thursday, September 23, 2004
a zara+jax story: independently gone bats, part 4/4 (F/f)
ummmmmm...
~~~~~~~~~~
..."But the big question, little one is WHY," Jax said quietly.
"Look Z--you have been working so hard, and you've come incredibly far just in the past year..."
"I mean, hell, it's been what--like three months?--since you last needed your bottom warmed?" she chanced teasing.
*hmph* colorful mutter--"four"--crasser mutter *hmph*
"Sorry lovey," Jax couldn't help but chuckle.
*hmph*
Serious again, Jax said, "But its true ya know--none of the 'tantrums' you were, albeit understandingly, resorting to for a while there; no futile attempts to cover up things--and yes, I do know how many times I have said this--but that there is no logical reason to be trying to in the first place, sweetie..."
"But beyond that Z, and of GREAT significance, you haven't been doing any of those 'things' to begin with for quite some time longer now. Face it babe--you have actually been doing that nutty think called 'taking care of yourself.'"
"Now," Jax quickly continued before Z could get a sarcastic comment in. "That doesn't mean there isn't more work to do, for all of us who love you to help you do. You're dealing with some 'tough stuff' lovey--to say the least. You are also, for sure, the strongest and most resilient person I have ever met. But as you well know, 'it's a process, not an event.'"
Jax smiled briefly, knowing her last several statements, having included some of Z's most favorite phrases, had earned a whole string of big 'ole eye rolls.
Jax was communicating nothing novel, but it always bore repeating.
(She is a therapist after all...)
"And in that process lovey," she continued, "are a lot of new experiences, these 'good' and 'normal' things...that scare the living hell out of you. I get that babe, I do. I hate the times when you auto-react in the 'old' ways instead of reaching out to me or someone else, when I have to watch you turning against yourself. Nonetheless, I begrudgingly understand that too..."
Zara had been quiet for a while now, which for her could mean any number of things.
She had shifted position some, snuggled a little tighter into Jax's body.
But Jax, who had a better look at Z's face now, could tell she was still 'with' her; and, all eye-rolling aside, was trying to genuinely 'take in' her words.
Jax ruffled Z's hair and continued speaking.
"But this is a new one Zara. It's not in your usual self-destruction toolbox."
"As Hailey, *ahem*, noted yesterday, you seriously and very openly despise alcohol."
Jax paused before going on.
"You hated that your aunt was drunk 24/7. It terrified you that the one fractionally decent person in your family still lashed out at you sometimes..."
Praying that she was not pushing Zara too far, she stroked her back and continued, "And that's not even taking into account the worst events that alcohol is strongly associated with for you."
"Lovey, I know that you obviously know all this," Jax said, as a few more tears rolled down both their cheeks. "That is why I'm having so much trouble comprehending what happened this afternoon, honey."
"I don't know either Jax! I really, honestly don't," Z said, her voice cracking.
"Ok, lovey," Jax kissed her head. "It's alright...I'm not gonna push it anymore, tonight at least, ok."
They sat in silence for several minutes, Jax holding Zara close...
~~~~~~~~~~
..."Ok lovey, we can't put it off any longer. It's time for your spanking now."
A BIG, Fidgety *SIGH*
"Yup, I know kiddo. Believe me, I know...Unfortunately, you've really managed to do it this time, little one."
*HMPH*
"Come on Z," Jax sighed. "Go get your paddle."
Grumbling, she got up. "How in the porca puttana did the damn thing get to be 'mine' anyway? I want a fuckin' refund."
"Gosh Zara, I've never heard that one from you before," Jax said as Z handed her the old, brush-shaped paddle.
It is rather small and light compared to those famed and actual old-fashioned hairbrushes.
(It also has a story all its own, but that is for some other time...)
Nonetheless, it could still pack plenty of sting.
Z responded with a creative series of facial expressions--
while she pulled down her pants, and panties, and climbed across Jax's lap.
Jax smiled. "That's my girl. Thank you."
*HMPH*
Jax patted the bare bottom, then silently rubbed Z's back for a minute.
"Are you ready, lovey?"
"Yeah," she replied softly, the pre-spanking pouting stage now another completed.
"Why are you getting a spanking, Z?"
Zara mumbled something with her face buried into a pillow.
"Zara...?"
She turned her face to the side and peered back towards Jax, tears visible in her eyes.
Jax brushed the stray hair from Z's cheek.
"Tell me why, baby."
"Cuz I did some real dumb shit and I tried to lie to you about it."
Short and sweet--and blunt, Jax thought. Much like Zara herself...
*ahem* "Well...yeah, I guess that does mostly cover it...Do you know why else?"
Z just kept looking at her.
"Because I love you Zara. With my whole heart. And I'll keep dragging you away from those cliffs you're still too fond of as many times as I have to."
Z blinked through the increasing tears and turned her face back into the pillow...
~~~~~
Jax picked up the paddle and brought it down hard and fast on Zara's bare bottom right from the start.
She didn't bother "lecturing" any further.
Zara needed to be able to cry it all out.
Jax needed to reiterate the points that verbally she felt had already been sufficiently covered.
Neither wanted to drag this out any longer than necessary.
Z reacted essentially the same as she usually does during a spanking.
She rarely struggles or yells, resists or pleads.
Jax could see her clenching and unclenching her fists, then drumming her feet on the bed.
She quietly muttered the usual colorful Italian into the pillow, and began to sort of grunt at each smack of the paddle.
And finally--
the deep, hard sobbing broke through, her copious tears took over.
When it comes right down to it, that is what it is nearly always really all about--
getting Zara to just.let.all.the.shit.go.
After a couple minutes, Jax eased up and shortly switched to her hand.
"Do you really get it now little one?"
Z nodded through her sobs.
"Good," Jax sighed with tired relief, and gave one last spank to Z's hot and red little bottom.
She rubbed Zara's back in slow circles.
"That's my good girl. It's all over now, lovey. Just keep letting it all out, ok..."
"How about we get you up so I can hold you Z?"
Z passively allowed Jax to bring her panties and pants back up, and then guide her over to the big rocking chair.
Jax pulled her onto her lap; and Z curled up and cuddled in.
Jax held her tightly and rocked until the sobs quieted, and only the last of Z's tears still trickled down...
..."Owww," Zara pouted when Jax patted her bottom.
"Yes, I'm sure. I think it needed to 'Owww,'" Jax said, laughing at the poke in her stomach before she'd even gotten through the 'standard' line.
"...certifiable..." Z muttered.
THE End. Finally.
ummmmmm...
~~~~~~~~~~
..."But the big question, little one is WHY," Jax said quietly.
"Look Z--you have been working so hard, and you've come incredibly far just in the past year..."
"I mean, hell, it's been what--like three months?--since you last needed your bottom warmed?" she chanced teasing.
*hmph* colorful mutter--"four"--crasser mutter *hmph*
"Sorry lovey," Jax couldn't help but chuckle.
*hmph*
Serious again, Jax said, "But its true ya know--none of the 'tantrums' you were, albeit understandingly, resorting to for a while there; no futile attempts to cover up things--and yes, I do know how many times I have said this--but that there is no logical reason to be trying to in the first place, sweetie..."
"But beyond that Z, and of GREAT significance, you haven't been doing any of those 'things' to begin with for quite some time longer now. Face it babe--you have actually been doing that nutty think called 'taking care of yourself.'"
"Now," Jax quickly continued before Z could get a sarcastic comment in. "That doesn't mean there isn't more work to do, for all of us who love you to help you do. You're dealing with some 'tough stuff' lovey--to say the least. You are also, for sure, the strongest and most resilient person I have ever met. But as you well know, 'it's a process, not an event.'"
Jax smiled briefly, knowing her last several statements, having included some of Z's most favorite phrases, had earned a whole string of big 'ole eye rolls.
Jax was communicating nothing novel, but it always bore repeating.
(She is a therapist after all...)
"And in that process lovey," she continued, "are a lot of new experiences, these 'good' and 'normal' things...that scare the living hell out of you. I get that babe, I do. I hate the times when you auto-react in the 'old' ways instead of reaching out to me or someone else, when I have to watch you turning against yourself. Nonetheless, I begrudgingly understand that too..."
Zara had been quiet for a while now, which for her could mean any number of things.
She had shifted position some, snuggled a little tighter into Jax's body.
But Jax, who had a better look at Z's face now, could tell she was still 'with' her; and, all eye-rolling aside, was trying to genuinely 'take in' her words.
Jax ruffled Z's hair and continued speaking.
"But this is a new one Zara. It's not in your usual self-destruction toolbox."
"As Hailey, *ahem*, noted yesterday, you seriously and very openly despise alcohol."
Jax paused before going on.
"You hated that your aunt was drunk 24/7. It terrified you that the one fractionally decent person in your family still lashed out at you sometimes..."
Praying that she was not pushing Zara too far, she stroked her back and continued, "And that's not even taking into account the worst events that alcohol is strongly associated with for you."
"Lovey, I know that you obviously know all this," Jax said, as a few more tears rolled down both their cheeks. "That is why I'm having so much trouble comprehending what happened this afternoon, honey."
"I don't know either Jax! I really, honestly don't," Z said, her voice cracking.
"Ok, lovey," Jax kissed her head. "It's alright...I'm not gonna push it anymore, tonight at least, ok."
They sat in silence for several minutes, Jax holding Zara close...
~~~~~~~~~~
..."Ok lovey, we can't put it off any longer. It's time for your spanking now."
A BIG, Fidgety *SIGH*
"Yup, I know kiddo. Believe me, I know...Unfortunately, you've really managed to do it this time, little one."
*HMPH*
"Come on Z," Jax sighed. "Go get your paddle."
Grumbling, she got up. "How in the porca puttana did the damn thing get to be 'mine' anyway? I want a fuckin' refund."
"Gosh Zara, I've never heard that one from you before," Jax said as Z handed her the old, brush-shaped paddle.
It is rather small and light compared to those famed and actual old-fashioned hairbrushes.
(It also has a story all its own, but that is for some other time...)
Nonetheless, it could still pack plenty of sting.
Z responded with a creative series of facial expressions--
while she pulled down her pants, and panties, and climbed across Jax's lap.
Jax smiled. "That's my girl. Thank you."
*HMPH*
Jax patted the bare bottom, then silently rubbed Z's back for a minute.
"Are you ready, lovey?"
"Yeah," she replied softly, the pre-spanking pouting stage now another completed.
"Why are you getting a spanking, Z?"
Zara mumbled something with her face buried into a pillow.
"Zara...?"
She turned her face to the side and peered back towards Jax, tears visible in her eyes.
Jax brushed the stray hair from Z's cheek.
"Tell me why, baby."
"Cuz I did some real dumb shit and I tried to lie to you about it."
Short and sweet--and blunt, Jax thought. Much like Zara herself...
*ahem* "Well...yeah, I guess that does mostly cover it...Do you know why else?"
Z just kept looking at her.
"Because I love you Zara. With my whole heart. And I'll keep dragging you away from those cliffs you're still too fond of as many times as I have to."
Z blinked through the increasing tears and turned her face back into the pillow...
~~~~~
Jax picked up the paddle and brought it down hard and fast on Zara's bare bottom right from the start.
She didn't bother "lecturing" any further.
Zara needed to be able to cry it all out.
Jax needed to reiterate the points that verbally she felt had already been sufficiently covered.
Neither wanted to drag this out any longer than necessary.
Z reacted essentially the same as she usually does during a spanking.
She rarely struggles or yells, resists or pleads.
Jax could see her clenching and unclenching her fists, then drumming her feet on the bed.
She quietly muttered the usual colorful Italian into the pillow, and began to sort of grunt at each smack of the paddle.
And finally--
the deep, hard sobbing broke through, her copious tears took over.
When it comes right down to it, that is what it is nearly always really all about--
getting Zara to just.let.all.the.shit.go.
After a couple minutes, Jax eased up and shortly switched to her hand.
"Do you really get it now little one?"
Z nodded through her sobs.
"Good," Jax sighed with tired relief, and gave one last spank to Z's hot and red little bottom.
She rubbed Zara's back in slow circles.
"That's my good girl. It's all over now, lovey. Just keep letting it all out, ok..."
"How about we get you up so I can hold you Z?"
Z passively allowed Jax to bring her panties and pants back up, and then guide her over to the big rocking chair.
Jax pulled her onto her lap; and Z curled up and cuddled in.
Jax held her tightly and rocked until the sobs quieted, and only the last of Z's tears still trickled down...
..."Owww," Zara pouted when Jax patted her bottom.
"Yes, I'm sure. I think it needed to 'Owww,'" Jax said, laughing at the poke in her stomach before she'd even gotten through the 'standard' line.
"...certifiable..." Z muttered.
THE End. Finally.
oh no don't you put me in that box you know what you can do with those locks bet your life i'll come crawling out again you'll have to deal with me then you'll hear me in the wind...